As someone who spent most of their life up to this point in school, I still wish that schools taught us differently. Out of all the years of education I’ve completed, and even now as someone with a Ph.D., not one of my learning experiences within formal education reinforced the all-important concept of self-love.
In retrospect, I’ve sadly come to realize that the opposite is true. That schools teach us to conform to societal standards, hide who we really are, and question the gifts and creativity that make us who we are.
This is especially true for those who don’t quite fit the “mold.” The ones who learn differently, have high energy levels, or don’t focus on single study topics for long periods, or those of us who are just rebels without a cause.
Because we know at our very core learning shouldn’t be boring.
Learning isn’t about sitting and studying and passing a test. It’s about doing, experiencing, and growing.
This is what I wish schools had taught us.
To love ourselves wholly, to question norms, and revel in our weirdness.
Because when we’re able to love who we are, even all the not-so-great parts, that’s when big things happen.
Like becoming a life coach and taking a plunge into the unknown.
That’s when we stop settling, follow our passions, believe in ourselves, and stop listening to the “well-meaning” advice of others.
- Your best ideas grow from a place of love, not guilt, shame, and inadequacy.
- You can only coach your clients on things you have worked through yourself.
- There is no magic blueprint guaranteeing success for you. To get where you want to go as a coach, you must learn to trust your judgment and look inward for what's best for you.
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So how do you unlearn all the shit that's been programmed into you since age five?
A good starting place is awareness.
Becoming aware of all the behaviors, thoughts, and beliefs you’ve picked up. Little things like believing you have to have a “realistic job,” or that your grades define you, and by extension, as an adult, that your performance or the things you do externally define your worth as a human being.
Many of us also have this little nagging voice with us most of the time, constantly whispering things like “you’re not good enough,” “look at her, she’s doing so much better than you, you’re behind, just give up?”
These little insidious things keep us trapped in a world based on fear, scarcity, judgment, shame, and guilt, leaving us feeling hopeless when it comes to succeeding and getting what we want.
There is a different way forward.
We must start loving ourselves to create lasting change for generations and show up as life coaches who get our clients results.
We have to start repairing and rebuilding our relationships with ourselves.
The complex, icky, not fun internal work that necessitates exploring all of the shit we’ve tried to forget or hide for most of our lives.
Because when we face all that shit head-on and learn to love who we are, we have a much greater chance of changing the direction of the world and helping our clients to do the same.
We show up as the best and brightest versions of ourselves, and our actions are fueled by love and joy.
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Clients are drawn to us because they pick up on that energy and want what we offer.
Have you ever been around someone glowing with good vibes, even if you can’t put your finger on precisely what it is?
That’s the kind of energy I’m talking about.
And aside from becoming aware of all the little thoughts and beliefs holding you back, you can start doing things you love.
If you want to start loving yourself more and, by extension, grow your coaching business faster, it’s time to put your money where your mouth is.
Show yourself that you’re serious.
Here’s how:
START DOING THINGS YOU ENJOY!
The things that excite you bring you joy and get you as giddy as a second-grader the night before a field trip to the nature center.
Simple as that.
Loving yourself starts with simple acts.
Like doing things you enjoy.
Don't know what you enjoy or what makes you happy?
Then start somewhere with something.
Start cycling through any and every idea you have.
If you don’t like it, quit.
And move on to the next one.
I promise you, you will eventually find something you enjoy doing.
And once you find it, start doing it as often as possible.
Start showing yourself that you’re worthy of having fun.
Of being happy.
Of experiencing joy.
This is the way you start loving yourself.
This is one of the quickest ways to move your business forward because everything you do in your coaching practice will come from a place of love, joy, and enjoyment.
You’ll get better ideas about how to make offers, where to meet potential clients, and what content to create to help your people.
Your business will stop feeling like a chore and start feeling like the exciting adventure you hoped for when you started.
This is how you grow as a new life coach, and I promise you that if you do this, you’ll not only be at peace with who you are as a human being, but you’ll also see solid returns in your business.